Thursday, December 4, 2008

Domestic Beer

I get asked this quite a bit: "Do you have any domestic beer?" In the true sense of the word, I most certainly do. "Domestic" has its origins in the Latin domesticus, from domus, house. So, yes I do have domestic beer, being that it travels the distance from the back of the house to the front. In fact, I have the only establishment for 50 miles that does so.

The Needs of the Few

There's a well-known scene in a well known science fiction movie in which a well-known pointy-eared individual raises the poser about whether and in which situations the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

So this guy walks into a bar. Or rather a pub. Mine, in fact. And wants to know whether a certain individual in the Tuesday night pool league could bring in his own beer, seeing as we don't serve "regular" beer in our pub. This certain individual apparently drinks a case of Keystone Light (or is that Lite?) a day and is unhappy with our selection. Now it has been obvious to anyone who wanders by on a Tuesday night that the large majority of the pool players really really don't want to be at our establishment. The standard trappings that surround pool league activities in small Oregon towns are conspicuously absent, among them being smoking and "regular" (or "domestic") beer. This is a jolt to the creature of habit. It's almost painful to watch this sullen crew from behind the bar, well-stocked with quality West Coast ales and our own six hand pulls.

Now, for the remainder of the pool league period (which is woefully too long at this point), I am being asked to stock fizzy canned rice-squeezin's just for one or two guys who pointedly inform me that they don't like my beer.

[Author takes deep breath]

The needs of the few. Hmmm. It is tempting to see a few wee happy faces on a Tuesday night, but, Keystone Lite? And just for a couple of guys for a couple more Tuesday evenings? I was informed that if I were to pick up a couple 12-packs, I could be making a bit more money if I did so. Doing the math here, I see that I could sell 14 cans of rice-water for $1 each, making $0.50 per can, so at the end of the night I could elevate my bank account by $7. Woot!

The more I think about it, the more I am liking the new Thursday night pool league that is starting up, which actually wants a smoke-free room and something real in a glass.